Mini Synopsis...updated!

First off, I want to thank everyone for the input! Each and every comment was extremely helpful and I've taken something from each one. I can totally see the benefit of writing forums and groups now. But who needs one when you have amazing family and friends to give honest advice? :)

Anyway, as I said before, it was my roughest of drafts and my purpose for posting it was the NEED for outside opinion. So, in taking everyone's criticism, it helped me view it from the outside and do a little reconstruction. THANK YOU! I left most of it the same, except moved around wording here and there, according to what I felt was best.

I have to say that writing synopsises are like death to me. Hate them with a passion. How do you scrunch a 300+ page novel into three paragraphs and entice the readers without revealing too much at the same time? Ugh...it's a difficult process.

Anyway, I want to address a couple comments I got about confusing sentences, etc. I have tried rewording a few of them, but in my experience and from what PERSONALLY entices me, I think mystery is good. You don't want to reveal a lot--just enough to get the reader wanting to figure out why such and such happened. So I guess in a sense, a little "confusion" is good...right? I mean, not to the point where you're thrown off completely, but its all about mystery. I like reading a synopsis I have to stop and ponder a little, possibly reread a few times, because that's what entices me--maybe a sentence with deeper or double meanings--and then trying to figure it out, possibly as I'm reading it. But I'm weird. :)

And on another note, this doesn't just serve as the "book flap" description. I didn't mention this before, but this is basically what my letter will consist of when I query agents. In countless research for what the mini synopsis should consist of, especially for an agent who needs to know the basics, it's better to lay it out. So I don't know. Finding that balance is hard. Also, as far as your comment, Kadie, about not giving a "this happens and this happens" sort of structure (and I totally see what you were saying, by the way), the reason I form it that way is because agents don't want background on feelings, outcomes, etc. They want to know the actions, the happenings in the book. It's all very tricky, querying.

So all in all, most likely this would never be a "book flap" description, more of a hook to snag an agent, so that's what I'm catering it to. And then when they request a full synopsis, I sweat even more and give them the detailed beginning, middle, and end. That's almost worse.

Also, keep in mind that this isn't going to hook everyone (I have to constnatly remind myself of that). Just like there are certain agents that represent certain genres (I will be selective in only querying agents who represent this taste), there are different audiences to different books and I am well aware there are a mass of people who wouldn't be the slightest interested in this, and that's okay. I just have to think (because I know there have to be more people out there like me) of what I would want to read, and if I'm being honest with myself, this is something that would probably grab my attention...partly because I'd be thinking "What the crap happens?"

Anyway, now after my tangent, I want to again thank everyone for the comments and constructive feedback--I honestly appreciate every word of it! So, here's the next revision. If there are any more comments/feedback, please feel free. I'm still incredibly new at this and each hurdle (tee hee) is a learning experience, so I need all of it I can get. :)

"Raegan Fairbanks refuses to move on with her life after the passing of her husband—even a year later when drawn to the mysterious Lucas Cross by a most unexpected mediator. Raegan and Lucas can’t deny their distinctive connection, but only upon learning they share the same dark tragedy does their bond cosmically fuse.

Lucas, the unrivaled soul with an empathetic ability to heal Raegan’s grief, guides her through the torturous healing process. In pulling her through denial and cynicism, their divine friendship sequentially offers him like renewal but, irritatingly, leaves him wanting.

However, through revelation of an ominous secret, Raegan and Lucas realize their tie extends beyond innocent parallels. Buffeted with new tragedies and reeling self-discoveries, Lucas ultimately learns it’s him that’s descending on a path of self-destruction. Raegan, now a hurdle in his downward spiral, ironically proves the only means of his survival. Can she live up to his ideal of “personal savior,” or will her desire to free herself drive him to devastation?"

Comments

nickndest said…
Much better! Crazy how a couple of wording changes can make such a difference.
Kadie said…
I agree! It is much better (although it really was good to begin with). :) And even though you have to keep it the way it is for queries, this revision feels less like "and then this will happen." Great job and I hope that someday I see your name on a published book! (just from your synopsis I can tell you're a good writer, so the agents are crazy if they don't take the bait!)

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